story form a heart

it was at one night..where everything in the world started to change..when i took away someones love.when i hurt too many people around me.when i make people weep because of me.just for my good sake.How could i?how could i be so narcissistic!iwas living with a glee when people around me are not.

It was on the 29th of May2010 ..when we get to know each other better.when i found someone that i can be dependent on.when i can share my laughter,sorrows and pains in my life.I know at that momment i have the best in my existence.u had created a better life for me, a space for me to tell each n every journey,the mountain i climbed and the horrendous river i had to go through..

Then,there goes 10th of june..when u r totally mine..behind my happiness..i was quite gloomy..because of the words i heard the world throwing to me..'Prowler' n other words i dont desire to hear..but at the end of the day,i know my stand.im not doing anything wrong,its not that i have killed anybody..but just a heart..a pity heart i had broke into pieces.yes.its all my fault.dont blame him.put all the blame on me.for taking you away from him.im sorry..i did not mean too.i just did not know.

As for you my love,im sorry for having you go through all this codswallop.Im sorry for the words people throw to you because of me.im sorry.As our 1 and half month anniversarry is coming..i just wanted to tell how much u mean to me..but i also wanted to tell u the bits and pieces,the ups and downs as well as the pains that i have to burried within my heart..

i remember the time i was waiting for u patiently each and everyday while u were away to ns.i waited by the phone hoping the phone would ring..n there it did.only god knows how i felt at that momment..and as days passed by,ur back in one piece.i thought everything is going to b fine when ur back n that all the dirt will b wiped spick and span.but no.it turned out to b more catastrophe.how could u?how could u give away the words i want to hear to someone else?how could u?how could u take away my happiness for someone else,what about ur promises?that only death can tear us apart?how could u give her those mesmerizing words?what about me?dont i even exist as tiny as ant in your heart?i was waiting for your messages,those sweet words i was long for but no..u gave it to someone else.i was hurt,i was struck by lightning reminding how cruel u were to me..i remember one night that one incident happened,i didnt sleep all night long n was sitting by the balcony while holding the watch u gave to me.my eyes stayed awake from midnight till 8 a.m as i can remember.it was march when i was about to lose you..the month when both of us were born..supposed to b a pleasant month..but the most horrible life in my existence!!!

Then as days passes by,u came back to me..u learnt ur mistakes so i forgave u..but as i told u before,once the wound is there it will always remain as scars..i was hurt.but sometimes i do wish for a revenge.i wish that u would feel the same thing as i did.i fall for my batchmate,but i didnt wish for more.just to make my scars be covered.thats all.but at the end of the day,i know there wont be anyone like u..i know there wont be any other guy that can make me melt like butter on a hot toast like u did.

Dear nublan,
now that we learnt our mistakes,now that we love each other again,now that i have u..this post is for me to tell u how much u mean to me..u bring the sun when the day started to turn cloudy,and there was the days when i feel sad but most of the days that i shine because u shone the lights to me..i know we fight almost everyday n i know i told u that i had gave up on u yesterday..i know how my words affected u emotionally and im sorry for being such a jerk.i know u will be there for me..i know u wont let go of me because u love me.thanks for giving ur shoulder to cry on,to wipe away my tears,to comfort me n console me.to want me have the best in life.to be a father,a brother n my true love,no matter what awaits us infront,i want u to know that i will always stand behind you,see you from far if i have to.if i have to give away my happiness just to make u happy..i would..and i love u so much..till death can tear us apart..